Child Inclusive Mediation…..
…..listening to the voice of the child
How it Works
- The Mediator agrees with both parents that a Child Inclusive Consultation could be helpful at your first mediation session and how this will take place.
- The Mediator writes age-appropriate individual letters to the children explaining what will happen and inviting them to attend a short session through Zoom or at our Stafford office without the parent being present in the room.
- Children have the choice to be seen together or separately or they can decide not to come.
- The consultation is completely confidential between the mediator and child/children (unless it becomes clear there are issues about their safety).
- The mediator will not prepare a written report which can be produced in Court
- After the meeting with the children an appointment is arranged within 48 hours to feedback to the parents what the children have said. A flip-chart of what the children agree to be fed back is used. Anything they would not like us to tell the parents is not flip-charted or fed back.
- A further discussion in mediation will follow or a further session of mediation will be arranged concerning ways forward, in the light of the children’s wishes, this is a necessity.
Our Thoughts on Child Inclusive Mediation
All our mediators are acutely aware of the need to attend to ‘the children’s voice’ in their discussions with separated parents. Research shows not just that children need information and age appropriate understanding about the changes taking place in their lives: they actually benefit from having some direct input into the plans that are being made about their futures.
This does not mean that children themselves should be making important decisions about their future lives; but it does mean that they should be consulted and heard.
Some separated parents are able to talk together with their children, and allow their voices to be heard, but this can be difficult and parents are often in emotional turmoil themselves, fearful of loss in their own lives, hardly able to consider a joint approach with the other parent.
Parents may think that “of course” they know what their children think. The consequence is that many children in divorce do not feel they have been understood or consulted with.
Research consistently shows that, when parents use mediation to try to resolve their difficulties, there are definite positive outcomes for children when children are directly consulted within the mediation.
Five members of the FMCS team (Neil Robinson, Abigail Kirk, Jane Boyd, Jane Wilson and Mike Cohen) have undertaken FMA (Family Mediators Association) specialist training which qualifies them to offer Child Inclusive Mediation. They each have substantial experience in Child Inclusive cases.
Helpful Resources for Children – click and go
